Presumptuous version of me

Enough with the incessant polling, and, for once, I'll get to answer my own questions.

What cheers me up?
Easy one. Realizing that, while the thought that comes to mind is "it's a freaking world gone mad!", I get to rise above it all. There's nothing better than feeling like you've grown up to be a pretty decent human being. Nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to feel sorry for.
I've screwed up. Yes, I have. But I've made my peace with it and with everyone involved. And no one (I said NO ONE) could ever accuse me of neglecting, lying or specially cheating on them. As it turns out, looking back is actually quite easy to me. No enemies, no secrets, no brokenhearts. How many people can say that without, at that point, messing up with one of these principles? How very decent of me.

What brings me down?
Even easier. Ignorance. In all its glory. I don't mean Lula-like ignorant, but I mean people-who-call-Lula-ignorant kind of ignorance. The worst anyone can do is think they'll get away with things. Or even statements like those. They won't. YOU won't. And that's ignorant of you to even think. Or maybe you think you know someone when you actually don't... another common ignorant thought. Or maybe you think the world would be a better place if you had three wishes and you would be able to fix it YOUR way. How very ignorant of me.

In spite of all of this mess I've been put through (hence the crankiness in this post)- tests, elections, rumors, lectures, deception, work, wake-up calls, and then on - I still have some hope left! How very romantic of me.

Here's a poem that often cheers me up and lets me NOT forget why I won't ever change, why greed and dishonesty will never overtake me. I guess somehow I feel I could've written it... How very snob of me.

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Onto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

[Emily Dickinson]


That's it for now. Gotta go get cheered up by my friends :)) And may I just say a fine selection of people who hold principles just like mine and stick to them. And, hey, maybe you're one of them. Maybe not... but feel free to try harder. How very disdainful of me.


Immodest Rafa - just for today.

Something to reflect upon (if you're in the mood to do so).

Richard Cory

Edwin Arlington Robinson

Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
We people on the pavement looked at him.
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich -yes, richer than a king-
And admirably schooled in every grace.
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

---

A beautiful poem. An obvious, yet memorable, point: appearances sure are deceiving.

What you see is certainly not what you get. So, take a closer look. Stare, if you have to. Listen. Talk. Analyze, if you may. The point is to see through people. And let them see right through you.

Open book... Open heart ;)

Rafa

A idade do "Por que?"

Yep, that's right. It's here. It's that time in any kid's life when you just can't help asking questions. That's what I'm going through now, at 22.
As it turns out I have been getting some pretty good, and some awesome, answers.
Here are the results of what I like to call my first few polls:

1. What causes dimples?

(NO, dumbies who answered the technical things, that's not what I was looking for! I already knew that they are really caused by a dominant gene in your DNA; however, this is supposed to be personal, even poetic, if I may).

* Memories
* Good perspective
* THE smile
* Crushes (how very 5th-grade of me)
* Winning (ANY game or just about anything)
* Succeeding (in ANY task or masterplan)
* And the ultimate answer: compliments!

2. What causes frowns?

(I realised there was no other opposite to dimples, except for frowns; they mean the exact opposite and are, just as well, exposed for everyone to see in your face).

* An unexpected answer that successfully counter-argues yours
* Bad memories
* Bad perspective
* Deceit
* Hypocrisy
* Being misinterpreted
* Losing
* Failing
* And the ultimate answer : Traffic!

3. What gives you the butterflies?

(This one is actually still in progress; better answers may come along any minute now. The way I see it, so far, butterflies are a great combination of frowns and dimples. There's definite joy but also some concern).

* Tests
* First dates
* Standing in line to go on a roller coaster
* New tattooes
* The first time you look at some guy and think: "How have I never noticed him before?"
* Airports:
- Seeing people off
- Picking up people you haven't seen in a while
- Departing
- Arriving
* And the ultimate answer (for us, teachers): The 1st day of class with a new group

That's it for now. Honestly, this is all very "journalistic" of me. The point here is to dig deeper. Always. Whether people - and myself - feel comfortable about it or not. The point is not getting the answers. It's asking the right questions.

Rafa