Stand-up comedy III

[Jerry Seinfeld, live on Broadway]

People

- It is amazing what people will believe.
I watch these infomercials late at night and if it gets late enough the products start to look good to me.
I have actually found myself sitting there thinking:
"I don't think I have a knife that can cut through a shoe... I don't think any of my knives are good enough to cut through shoes! I'm gonna get this knife and cut my shoes off. That seems pretty good."
I think the dumbest thing you can do late at night is to think:
"I'm gonna get this thing and get in shape."
It's 3 in the morning, you got potato chip crumbs all over your shirt, you got one eye open, one sock hanging off your foot.
"I'm gonna start working out with this thing. I'm gonna order this thing. This is all I need to get in shape. This is a fantastic device."
Rip-off.
We can't stop getting ripped-off. We're gonna get ripped off.
We think we're not, we think we're very clever, we think we're gonna foil the crooks.
We go to the beach, go in the water, put your wallet in your sneaker, who's gonna know? What criminal mind could penetrate this fortress of security?
"I put it down by the toe. They never look there. They check the heels, they move on."
When you have a TV set in the back of your car and you gotta leave the car in the street for a few minutes so you put a sweater over the TV.
"It's a couple of sweaters, that's all. One of them is square with an antenna coming out of it."

--

"Been there, done that", huh?

Rafa